Maggie

Earlier tonight we (marie, ryan, tj and i) were kind of watching beverly hills ninja, and something tugged at my heart strings. I just started to wonder, what is chris farley doing right now, is he in heaven or hell. Because i believe that they're there. So, I asked "what stops you from getting into heaven" and the conversation evolved and I don't think anyone really cared. Just "if it happens in happens", and they wanted to know why I wanted to know.
I just want to see my mom again.

I'm such a bum.
I want to be emotionally numb because I'm tired of feeling.
i want to just live life, living.
no happiness, no sadness, no ups, no downs.
and if that's not really living, that's okay.
I just want to breathe and survive.

that's all.